Nuts & Bolts

Today is round 2 of Bone Building infusion drug. And while I sit here in my chair, writing on my cell phone...which is less than ideal... I am swamped with emotion.

This week, I came across this quote: “We all have two lives to live and the second one starts when you realize you only have one."

And my second life is already oozing itself into existence. I am finding myself both energized and renewed and at the same time overwhelmed and sad. And while I guess that's not so different from real life number one, there is a definite shift the why's and how's.

I've also added a rather large and annoying medical component which didn't exist in life 1. And I'm finding myself needing to process the physical as much as the emotional or mental.

(I went home)

So here goes: The nuts and bolts of living with cancer... as me.. my physical journey in life 2.

Cancer treatment for my kind of Metastasized Breast Cancer is a lot less invasive than other treatments... which feels both good and bad. These treatments are life long, not just a few months to year.

I have already had 2 doses of an anti-hormone medication to get rid of my estrogen, putting me into menopause. While my 16 year old joked about having rom-coms queued up for my emotional outbursts, I am proud to say that I haven't needed them. So far, crying fits and hot flashes have not made an appearance into my already hectic life, although my body has been experimenting with warm waves.

Med number 2 is a bone strengthener. As my estrogen decreases, I will be at risk of osteoporosis... and also I have tumours in my bones. This has become my excuse for getting out of chores I don't like. It doesn't work well but my boys think it's funny that I try. I'll be getting 10 rounds of this IV medication. Today was the second round. It has no real side effects so really it's pretty decent and my time at the hospital is somewhat relaxing.

In 2 weeks I have to do my hormone level blood test to make sure that my estrogen levels have dropped enough to start chemo. Fingers crossed, prayers needed that this is the case.

If all is well on the hormone level, I will start my oral chemo tablets in 3 weeks. I am both nervous and excited about this. While it feels like something I can do to help slow/stop the spread of my cancer, I am also worried about the side effects. Mainly the being tired part as I have 5 boys and things I like to do... being tired doesn't really fit into my life plan... huh...that's a toughie. But overall, this medication is said to be well tolerated with few side effects.

And that's kind of it for the medical Dr side of things. I'm currently arguing with my Oncologist about some surgery & other treatment options but she's not biting yet. It seems, that Dr's are really good at following the book and giving the medications but not quite a willing or confident to look outside the box. Unfortunately for them, I am good at that. The Dr I saw last week was groaning by the time I left and told me to stop asking questions.... Sorry Doc, that won't happen.

Since I've been taught that curiosity is a good thing, I'm also looking at Integrative Health options. This includes working with a Naturopathic Dr, a Chiropractor and a Personal Trainer.

This also involves a lot of mushrooms. They are apparently the in thing for "curing cancer". Lucky for me, I love mushrooms. I drink Chaga mushrooms in tea... actually, it's well hidden in a smoothie.... and I take Turkey Tail in a capsule form. I also eat a lot of sautéed mushrooms... because why not? I'm not convinced that this is a magic cure by any stretch, but if these treatments help like they claim, then my immune system will be looked after, and that will be a huge help given my lifelong chemo. (FYI: I am taking these supplements under the supervision of a ND and much to the chagrin of my MD).

I am also doing some funky diet changes. I'd love to say it's as easy as following Keto or Plant Based but it's not quite that simple. Basically, I eat salad and sometimes meat and sometimes fish but on high energy days I need to eat whole grain bread but not really have carbs and don't eat sugar but do eat beans... there are a lot of rules which I don't love but I do love experimenting so that's fun. Basically super healthy and after a month of being super healthy, I feel great.

And also I had ice cream today. Because on hospital days, I get a treat. Today I chose ice cream. I'll probably always choose ice cream, it's literally in my DNA.

Now for those who know me well, probably the biggest shocker in all of this is...DOT DOT DOT... I did Yoga last night. Yup. I sucked it up, put on some tighty shorts under my dress and did yoga on my living room floor. I hate yoga. But I hate bone cancer more so I guess I'll do my yoga. And to be fair, the stretching did feel good. Tonight K is doing yoga without me because I'm too hot and grumpy but I will do it again and even regularly. K loves yoga and it's so good for his ADHD and it's cool that we can do it together so I WILL DO IT!

I've also been doing some deep breathing exercises and cold water therapy. The deep breathing makes me a little bored but it does feel nice. The cold water has been really pleasant so far because it generally takes place on a really hot day or with friends at a lake.... ask me about this in 2 months time. I won't be so positive. The main bonus of cold water therapy - it keeps the hot flashes away.

Next up is increasing my running. I do love trail running so it was good news to hear that running can help strengthen my bones. In order to not aggravate my joints, I'm going to stick to the trails for the next while as I build up my endurance and strength. This could be hard if the chemo does indeed make me tired.

Along with running, I'll be doing weight lifting and other things with the PT. It is my hope that my exercise routine along with the good healthy eating will keep my energy at doable levels.

So that's kind of my current life in a nutshell. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to be as healthy as I possibly can and I'm really excited to see that it's falling into place. I also think about where I'd like to travel to when the Covids have receded and the current top contenders are Iceland, Peru and Kenya. But honestly, at this point I'd take Kamloops.

I will raise a glass to another day of Life 2. I'm not convinced it's better than Life 1 but I'm getting the nuts and bolts in place so I can live it to the fullest.