Mud

My kids love to watch Total Wipeout. It's the UK version of the Wipeout that used to be on tv years ago, and it's been fun reliving the past and laughing with our kids.

But the best part, is watching the kids bust a gut laughing at the people who get stuck in the mud on the Sucker Punch Wall.

The obstacle is made up of a narrow wall full of red boxing gloves that punch you as you walk by. The quick people can sometimes make it past but the majority of the people get sucker punched and end up in the mud. And the mud is thick. It is tough slogging through the pool of sludgy, stinky mud and contestants end up exhausted and weighed down by the muck.

And I can't think of a better analogy for life right now. The punches are coming left, right and centre and the pool of mud at our feet is getting sloppier by the minute.

And it would be so easy to sink below the mud and quit the game. But where's the fun in that? What I am trying to teach my kids is resilience. What I am trying to model is that while life throws crap at you, you have a choice about how you're going to deal with it. You can lay in the mud, wishing it to be all over, or you can get up, pull yourself up the ramp and beat the snot out of the next obstacle.. the Big Balls.

That is resilience. When you are down and stuck and tired and worn out and you choose to get up and keep going... and better yet, do it with a genuine smile on your face. That is what living is.

And I'm worried for my kids. They seem to believe that happiness is just something that's deserved because they're nice people. And I'm pretty sure they didn't pick that up from me but if they did, it's time for a wee bit of a reality check.

Because I believe that happiness doesn't come due to an absence of mud. It comes despite the mud. Despite the falling down. Despite being kicked to the curb. Despite all the pain and agony. And then when you get up. When you keep going. And when you smile, knowing that you are strong enough to withstand even the toughest day.

There can be joy in all of it. Because the joy is in you. It is part of you. And you have a choice whether or not to exercise the joy muscle. You have a choice to show up ready to take the punches and slog through and you have the choice to have a smile or a scowl.

This is a tough one to teach. My kiddos want the just-add-water-instant-everything-in-my-world-is-ok fix. And who doesn't? I'd like it too. But there's no learning there, there's no growth and there's certainly no space for practicing joy in the midst of sadness when you take that route.

So be proud of the mud. It means you've gone through hell and come out on the other end. That's something to smile about. That's happiness.