Adventures in ADHD

A memory from 7 years ago popped up on my Facebook the other day. It was a quote from my then 3 year old son.

"Mom," he said, "don't worry about the 3 broken eggs on the counter, you can just clean it up and pretend you didn't see it."

My response at that time... this kid is going to be the death of me.

Fast forward 7 years and I'm still saying the same thing.

This morning, I found him and his 2 younger brothers in bed together having a brother moment. You might think that this could be a cute bonding time, but in reality it was an act of impulsivity and defiance that earned them a 2 week grounding from all screens. (And me a 2 week lack of any quiet time... argh!)

These 3 boys have been banned from watching certain YouTube people. My parenting senses have deemed these particular Youtubers as not great quality so we don't need to waste our time watching them. The boys don't agree.

The plan... or lack there of... started at 2 am. J came into my bed for a cuddle and after a few minutes I put him back in his bed. I heard his door open again but assumed he had to pee, so I went to sleep. At 2:30, K came into my room for a cuddle... now this is odd... he's 10 and hasn't done this in years... but whatever, it's 2:30 and I'm tired. After a few minutes, he declared he was going back to bed and would tuck himself in.

I though all was good and I could finally sleep... but the little bugger swiped my phone off my bedside table.

At 4:30, I heard many more noises... doors very quietly opening and closing, chairs moving... I was confused by totally sleep deprived and not really paying attention... until 5 am when I realized that something was not as it should be.

I snuck downstairs to K's bedroom to find 3 boys tucked into be with bags of cereal, cans of coke and YouTube playing on my phone.

They still haven't confessed to how long they were there watching.

I was livid. I hate being awake early and I especially hate waking to these kinds of shenanigans.

But here's the thing. K has ADHD and J probably does as well. And my oldest son has it. And I do.

So to sum up, these kind of events are our normal. There is a severe lack of impulse control and emotional regulation in our house. And it stresses me out. And I'm also part of the problem.

Emotional regulation is something I have to work on, just as much as I have to teach my kids. Finishing a job and not walking away from it halfway through is something I have to work on as much as I have to teach my kids. Not being bored out of my mind.... is something I have to work on... maybe even more than I have to teach my kids.

The struggle is real. It is tough and it is tiring. It is constant. But, I know that every day that I work on myself and my emotional maturity and my learning, I am a better mom, a better teacher, and a better listener.

And that last one is vital. In our loud-mouthed, hot-headed family, our words often fall on deaf ears. We all struggle to be heard because our world is frustrating and discouraging and we don't always know how to process our crap.

So for this time, I am practicing my kid listening skills... with my own kids... I could listen to yours all day long. But mine need to be heard too....despite the fact that I will be listening to words coming out at full volume...so I will listen. And in turn, I will teach them to listen to others.

And I'll also maybe learn how to chill out about the adventures they have... standing on the top of my van, repelling off the balcony, jumping over railings, riding laundry baskets down the stairs.... there is never a dull moment here...