The Before Times

I have a great friend and he refers to the time before Covid hit the world as the Before Times. As we walk our dogs and chat, we'll throw in a few, "Well, in the Before Times, we could share snacks". Or "In the Before Times, we could shake hands". Or, "In the Before Times, our kids weren't totally feral." Things often seem better in the before times.

And most days, I'm convinced that things were better in the Before Times. Because before, I was working on building my business, I was planning birthday parties for my kids, I was looking forward to vacation with my family, I was hosting potlucks.

Before, I was happy making a comfortable life for myself.

And now, that can't be enough. Now, I've seen things that I can't un-see, that I shouldn't un-see. I've seen marriages fall apart, and children stuck in bad home situations. I've seen people give in to conspiracy theories. I've seen young moms die from a pandemic virus. I've seen riots and hurt and pain. And I've seen a black man killed by a white cop.

If my only goal now, is to return to the Before Times, and make things comfortable again, I am missing something. If my goal is to turn my eyes away and pretend I don't see, I am missing something. If my goal is to talk about how these events have offended my sensibilities, I am missing something.

My goal is to not avert my eyes and look to my own comfort. My goal is to lean into my discomfort; to learn and listen.

So while I might grieve the loss of the relative simplicity of the Before Times, I will not let these times leave me unchanged.

The Before Times is over. Now, I get to choose how I want to show up in the Next Times....quieter, gentler, kinder, free of racism, full of peace.

How do you choose to show up?